2004-05-21 - 3:18 p.m.

News; Assignment 9

Last night was probably the worst night of my life in terms of sheer pain. Alternating between screaming in horror with all my energy and an exhausted zombie, from about 1 am until 4 am.

Assignment 9

Some areas of my life that I am dissatisfied with, the specific ares of my life that are not where I want them to be:

Family relationships; friendship relationships; Professional relationships; Romantic relationships; Spiritually; Financially; Mental health/Emotionally; Physical health.

What would I have to believe to consistently follow through on the transformation of my life (two or three new beliefs to live by):

1. I control my future, and if anything, Asperger's gives me extra talents and an unfair advantage!;

2. I can and do approach people easily and readily and can see the elements of truth in everyone's opinions!;

3. I can trust God because I know that he is always in control!

What I would have to believe to not only set my goals but really achieve them:

I would have to know for certain that the goals will come true.

Why I must change these situations now and why I know I can change them:

Because I am in intolerable pain and the chosen catalyst for change is effective, relevant and appropriate.

2004-05-10 - 4:19 p.m.

Assignment 8

WRITE DOWN some core beliefs that I have that are limiting the quality of my life (besides those found yesterday):

I want to die.

I'm not good enough to have a girlfriend/wife.

I can't overcome the symptoms of Asperger's Syndrome/depression and lead a normal life.

Asperger's Syndrom prevents me from having a suitable job/career.

A suitable career is necessary to attract a girlfriend.

I won't ever be self-confident enough because of what happened at school.

Someone must have a courageous and accurate Christian worldview to be a close friend of mine.

The overwhelming majority of both Christians and non-Christians do not have such a worldview.

TWO NEW BELIEFS that I have now adopted to replace the old, destructive ones:

I control my future, and if anything, Asperger's gives me extra talents and an unfair advantage!

I can and do approach people easily and readily and can see the elements of truth in everyone's opinions!

HOW MY NEW BELEIFS will enhance the quality of my life now:

I am more self-confident, and can make more friends, and am happy with being unemployed for the moment so that I can make great use of the time to build my future.

previous entry - following entry

gewerq.diaryland.com - an online diary. All original content © gewerq 2003-2005. All rights reserved.