2005-02-25 - 11:42 a.m.

Welfare state

The possibility that John Howard may soon cut the DSP, or at least render it useless, has made me seriously consider my options. My predicament in that eventuality would not be an attractive one. Obviously I would need income from somewhere. This would probably have to come from legitimate employment.

It is illegal (apparently) to sack anyone on the basis that they have a disability. No company though, can afford to have me working for them, so they give on the employment application the ‘option’ for applicants to disclose whether or not they have a disability (“for statistical purposes” only, of course).

Now, here I face a choice. I can be honest, not get any job, and then face the impossible task of proving beyond a reasonable doubt that I was not selected for interview on the basis of my disability. Or I could lie, say I do not have a disability, thereby giving the employer a convenient loophole through which they will be able to sack me…

If I didn’t believe in the concept of sin, my situation would be slightly better. I could organise and carry out a terrorist activity from my homestead. I could entrain a mass suicide pact over the internet. But if I were to do something to make something of my life? Like volunteer work, a correspondence course, or university? No, these activities would prove that I am indeed capable of working 30 hours a week, and therefore am in the process of defrauding the Commonwealth. And there certainly isn’t room for any national right freelance journalist in this country.

So I have resolved, in that eventuality, to go back to what I always used to do: get onto the job websites on the internet, apply for every single one, bluff my way through the interview assuming I manage to not break down in tears, certainly conceal my disability, when I get the job zone out rather than attack anyone if possible, make excuses until my probationary period is over (if I were female I would make full use of my paid menstrual leave), then get sacked and gratefully accept my Eligible Termination Payment, attempt suicide for being such a failure, get discharged the next day for lack of beds, then the next day get back on the job websites…

Sure, it would destroy the economy. But it’s what the people want.

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