10 April 2006 - 3:54 p.m.

Tossed back and forth by the waves

A record of the camp, the house party that I went on. Overall it was positive for me to be able to spend time with people and improve my social skills. I get the impression that I have made progress recently but am not entirely sure how. Recently, as in the last 6 months or so. Even though I cried often throughout it I didn't need any special attention or to go home.

I didn't realise I was travelling down there in a car with four people in it. But I managed and I participated in the small talk and endured the music which is not to my taste. When we got there I was anxious about where I would sleep and how I would pay but it turned out alright. I slept poorly, lightly through the night and was awake for my alarm in the morning. After negotiating the showers first I had too much for breakfast. Then the talks on the truths of the reformation. They were exceptional although I did zone in and out throughout them, wavering from depression to interest to enthusiasm, although the latter was relatively in short supply.

Then the discussion groups. I went surprisingly well, able to participate fully in all but the last of them. Impressing the single girls with my Bible knowledge was a preoccupation but that would be contrary to the principle of the glory of God alone, wouldn't it?

Speaking of impressing the girls there was a hint of that when we went to Narrabeen beach. Not that I would admit to it, nor that my attempts were at all successful. I wouldn't call them serious attempts anyway. At the beach I was tossed about by the waves then shivered in cold. Does this mean I am over the interest? Either negatively I am wavering and cannot commit or positively I am realistic and forgiving. I choose not to worry about which is the case.

But enough about that.

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