2004-05-08 - 2:19 p.m.

Assignment 7 continued

The rules which limit the quality of my life and that I'm willing to change now to improve my life forever are the ones for:

Usefulnes, motivation, desirability, love, success, attractiveness, lonliness, despair, self-pity, rejection, sadness, jealousy.

2004-05-08 - 1:52 p.m.

Redoing assignment for disc 7

I was officially dimissed yesterday. So now I have a lot of spare time. I am continuing the Robbins tapes and redoing the disc 7 assignment:

What's most importand to me in life? (moving towards values in order of importance)

1. Good mental health 2. Acceptance 3. Belonging 4. Appreciation 5. Usefullness 6. Desirability 7. Motivation 8. Love 9. Success 10. Attractiveness 11. Intimacy

What would I do the most to avoid? (moving away from values in order of importance)

1. Humiliation 2. Lonliness 3. Anxiety 4. Anger 5. Despair 6. Depression 7. Self-pity 8. Rejection 9. Sadness 10. Heart-break 11. Jealousy

What has to happen for me to feel each of these emotions?

GOOD MENTAL HEALTH

To not be on medication, to not have to take time off for health reasons

ACCEPTANCE

To have enough friends so that when I need to be with someone, someone will be available

BELONGING

I must get the impression that people want me around, eg, at a party or church or to go to the footy

APPRECIATION

To feel appreciated I want people at work to tell me I have done a good job, and for my flatmate or girlfriend to tell me that I am making life better for them

USEFULNESS

I must be able to show examples of things I have achieved or tasks I have done

DESIRABILITY

To feel desired I must look good and girls will want to talk to me; to feel relaxed, confident and comfortable with myself

MOTIVATION

To feel motivated I must know what the reason for doing what I am doing is; I must have someone physically present motivating me

LOVE

To feel love, I must have people tell me that they love me and prove it by doing something with me that I want to do with them

SUCCESS

To feel successful I must get the impression that people believe I am doing well in my job and/or that my job is desirable

ATTRACTIVENESS

To feel attractive I must be content with what I see in the mirror, and I must be paid attention and given compliments by nice girls

INTIMACY

To feel intimacy I must feel free to be able to talk about my most personal feelings to someone

HUMILIATION

I feel humiliated when I am contradicted in public, either rightly or wrongly

LONLINESS

I feel lonely when I don't have someone next to me giving me a hug or holding my hand

ANXIETY

At the moment I don't know of a particular belief that causes me anxiety

ANGER

I feel angry when I see that other people are saying or doing things that hurt me and don't care

DESPAIR

I feel despair when it seems other people have a better life than me and I won't be able to have what they have in my life no matter how hard I try

DEPRESSION

I feel depressed when it seems no matter what action I take, my life's problems won't go away

SELF-PITY

I feel self-pity when I realise all the things I don't have in my life that I have strived for

REJECTION

I feel rejection when people avoid talking to me

SADNESS

I feel sad when it seems I won'r be able to have a job or a girlfriend that I want

HEART-BREAK

I feel heart-break when is becomes apparent that a girl that I would very much like to be with does not feel the same way about me

JEALOUSY

I feel jealous when I see that other people can easily have in their lives the wealth and relationship I want, but I can't despite my best efforts to have them

2004-03-08 - 11:36 p.m.

of truth and quantum physics

Hello I am staying up very late tonight, everyone on messenger is ignoring me. Tomorrow I am going to a freak seminar. Followed by a painful trip to work. Since I last wrote in here I have broken a young girls heart by being a cruel heartless bastard and now I feel very guilty. I have not kept going with the Anthony Robbins tapes because I can't find the time although I could make time but I don't. Hey someone just messaged me, see they are not ignoring me after all. Don't worry Fh.Th I'm not really going to undertake a mass murder suicide at work tomorrow. I must obtain sufficient firearms first. Well. Not really I am joking. I want life love and pursuit of hapiness. Apparently the freak seminar is there to help me get back on that track. Can you blame me for being cynical?

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