2004-11-19 - 4:16 p.m.

the quick fix

It was either the courage or the adrenaline that failed to last the 48 hours following the last entry. Most likely the latter. My personality is such that I always want to find a reason why things happen and become disappointed with even the most favourable outcomes when their causes remain a mystery to me. I realise this attitude is not ideal.

What is actually the problem then? Certainly by all empirical measures I rose to the challenge of the offence and I can see the fruit growing. Still, I have unpleasant feelings from time to time which don’t require further exposition. I am greatly blessed to believe that these feelings are not evidence of wrongdoing on my behalf.

Not so our course’s resident Arminianist. During the class we were each asked how we would give an answer if asked what our weaknesses were in a job interview. I matter-of-factly said that I had not been able to keep a job because of my depression, not wanting any sympathy or attention. Then during the lunch break he approached me as I was watching the cricket.

“Intercession is the opposite of depression!” he exclaimed in his best Brian Houston impersonation. “Have you tried intercession?” and just left it at that, as if I had either never prayed before, or was defiantly bringing punishment on myself by ignoring his axiomatic word of wisdom.

Ironically he has got me to thinking and I will take his advice.

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